The day God freed me from the chains of drinking and smoking is also the day He warned me if I chose to return to doing those things the consequences would be much worse. The Bible echoes these exact words in 2 Peter 2:20 KJV "For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning." This kind of frightened me because I had just come from a place of utter darkness. One where I could not turn down a drink if I saw someone I knew drinking or if I smelled something I liked to smoke it would then spark in me the desire to partake. Not only that but participating in all these things started to open up the door for spirits to come into my heart. Therefore, creating strongholds in my mind that seemed to grow each time I willingly walked toward one of my temptations. See my life had become one of pure torment that death seemed like the only logical answer to combat the mental, spiritual and physical agony I was going through during that season. So after receiving my warning, all I could think about doing was whatever I needed to stay far away from all my triggers as best as I possibly could.
For the past three months, I kept hearing the Lord mention to me the word "first fruits" over and over again. Also around this time, I heard the Holy Spirit ask me to trust God with $50 each week we received our paycheck. I know you may be thinking that this is not a lot of money but with my household budget already about to burst at the seams, I was ready to suggest to God a few different places where that money could have gone. So, I continued ignoring his promptings for awhile and realized just how hard it became to keep up with all the payments and bills during that time. Soon the money seemed to disappear faster than I could even blink. Quickly, I realized that I might need to lay down my thoughts about money and just trust in what He was asking of me. I mean what did I have to lose and how could the outcome be any worse than what it was already. Right?
Recently, I was invited by my cousin to a mass deliverance service and began to grow excited. This excitement quickly turned into desiring that this one night would be the change I had been praying for seven years to take place. Not only did I begin to expect that my life would be ultimately transformed but was hoping my husband's life would be too. Leading up to the day of the event my anticipation rapidly started to grow about what the Lord was going to do in and with us, but not once did I stop to ask God what was his intention or plan for us. See, I got so caught up in what I expected God to do for me that I failed to find out if it was even in his will.