As I sat on the floor in my bedroom on Mother's Day with a moment to myself (shout out to my husband for cooking breakfast while watching our seven-month-old son and six-year-old daughter), I decided to take some time to communicate with God. In my conversation with my Heavenly Father, I thanked Him for all he has done for my family and me then proceeded to share with him the many dreams and changes I would like to see in my life. As I poured out all of my deepest thoughts, feelings and more specifically my anxiety about completing the book He asked me to write, I started to realize just how filled with impatience I am about enduring the process towards the vision He has given me in this season. I quickly noticed that I want all the things He has promised me to manifest now. And I do mean RIGHT NOW!
The past few weeks have proven challenging for me due to an overwhelming amount of setbacks. My computer recently died, and after my husband had taken a look at it, we discovered it was the hard drive which was causing me problems. (I am still praising the Lord it was not the motherboard because I can't replace a whole computer at this time!) So we ordered another hard drive and began to install it, only to find it would not fit properly into the tower we have. Also while we were waiting to see what was wrong with the computer, a neighbor of ours suggested I blog from my phone. Well, I looked up the app that I used before to blog with from my phone when I first started out, only to find that my phone is no longer compatible with that app. Also, it seemed every time I wanted to write, either for the blog or the book I am working on, there would be a series of distractions or obligations which required my immediate attention. So I quickly found myself becoming more and more discouraged. I even began to stop talking with God because I did not want to sound like I was complaining just as the children of Israel had done when they left Egypt (found throughout the books of Exodus and Numbers). I got so depressed because here I am finally stepping out on faith, wanting to change my life, and now I have to deal with all of this too! I just wanted to give up and quit!